COVENANT WARRIORS - Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

COVENANT WARRIORS
CHRISTIANS STANDING FOR THE TRUTH OF MARRIAGE

He [Jesus] told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her.
And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” - Mark 10:11-12 (NLT)

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, and REMARRIAGE: WHAT THE SCRIPTURES TEACH

Have you ever found yourself wondering why God called you to do something? Well I have. I'm not sure I can even fathom an answer to the question. I just know that one evening in 2009--having already filed divorce papers against my wife--after some serious prayer, fasting, research, and an inspired reading of Mal 2 (in which verse 16 stabbed me right through the heart), the Holy Spirit convicted me of something I must share with anyone who will listen.
Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful (Hebrew Word Bagad - to act or deal treachorously) to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows (Hebrew Word Bariyth - a covenant).
Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. (16) “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful (Hebrew Word bagad - to act or deal treachorously) to your wife.” - Mal 2:13-16 (NLT)
When I read those words I felt like I had been shot with a cannon. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty. I picked up the phone in that instant and left a message with my attorney to withdraw the divorce. My life has not been the same since.
I urge you to read every word of this to the end with an open mind. You may ultimately choose to disagree, but you won't walk away from this unaffected by what is written here. Please think of Luke 16:16 as we go through this brief discussion:
Jesus said, “The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presses into it.” - Luke 16:16 (AKJV)
The subject of Divorce and Remarriage is a hard one for many. I've personally wrestled with it for years, yet everything I find only reinforces what I now believe (which, as previously noted, was not my original view on the matter--God turned me completely in the opposite direction on this one). I would like to simply bring up a few points that I have discovered during my time with the Lord on this issue. While I am by no means an authority, I sense the Lord working through me on this topic. I may not have it accurate down to the last letter but I am convicted in my spirit that I am on the right track--and any failure to articulate is mine alone.

Why did the Disciples react with dismay (Mat 19:10) after Jesus spoke in Mat 19:9?

"But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, not for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and he who marries one put away commits adultery."
His disciples say to him, "If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry." - Mat 19:9-10 (Darby)
The disciples reacted in what would be considered shock and disbelief. Why? In short it was because Jesus was taking away from them something they were used to having: the ability to divorce and remarry either at will or for limited cause.
At the time Jesus was speaking there was a debate going on between the Shammai and Hillel schools of Rabbinical thought. One group felt divorce was allowed for any reason the other only for infidelity. Jesus told both schools they were wrong. If you divorce your wife for any reason and marry another you commit adultery--PERIOD. That was Jesus' stand. This shocked everyone who heard it, including His Disciples.
Jesus made it very clear that God makes two people one flesh, not man, not the state, not an official. His statement on marriage being permanent was declarative and air tight:
"So they are no longer (ouketi) two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." - Mat 19:6 (NASB)
The Greek literally says, "What therefore God has joined together man no shall (will not, i.e., cannot) separate."
The word ouketi is Greek for "no longer, no more, no further" and is seen in Mark 14:25, John 6:66, and Acts 8:39 (See: Have You Not Read? by Casey Whitaker, page 16).
For example:
From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. - John 6:66 (KJV)
In Matthew 19:6 Jesus is saying that NO entity can tear apart the one flesh relationship. God makes them one. They are never again two. "Man will not (cannot) separate what God has joined together." This is not an "ideal" it is a direct command, admonition, and warning from our Savior rolled into one.

Has the Church been deceived on this issue?

The skyrocketing divorce rate makes it clear that we have been. Why is it that Mark and Luke (along with all of the Apostle Paul's writings on the subject) do not contain any exception of any sort? Why is the only suggestion of an exception in the Kingdom Gospel written to the Jewish people who had a custom that would never apply to a Gentile Christian?
We simply cannot fully trust anonymous translators filled with human bias to accurately divide the Word of God (all one has to do is read the first five verses of Jeremiah 3 to see that translators often come to completely opposite conclusions). We must consult the original Greek language and make precept fit with precept, scripture with scripture. All verses must harmonize. EI MH (“except”) is not the same thing as MH (“not"). Erasmus, our 16th Century humanist--a contemporary of Henry the VIII, famous for his battle with the Catholic Church regarding divorce--altered this language knowingly. He has deceived many, as we were warned against in 1 and 2 Timothy.
In his book, "Adultery in the Church", Pastor Steve Flinchum of the Landmark Baptist Mission states the following:

Erasmus’ humanistic theology and his loyalty to the Catholic Church put him greatly at odds with the Reformers, but many of them readily endorsed his ideas about divorce and remarriage, and the influence of those ideas have grown along with the Protestant denominations. Many Baptists held strictly to the teachings of Jesus and John on the subject up through most of the nineteenth century. In the last century they have been greatly infected with Protestant influence in the matter. The Amish and the Mennonites have kept themselves separate from the rest of the world and most of them still hold the same true doctrine of Jesus and John about divorce and remarriage.
I have before me a Mennonite "Adult Sunday School Lessons" quarterly, published by Christian Light Publications, Inc. for March, April, and May, 1998. The lesson for May 17 is titled "Marriage and Divorce" and has this to say:

. . . To interpret the exception [Matthew 19:9] to mean marital unfaithfulness is to make the Scriptures contradict themselves. If marital unfaithfulness was intended, then why did not Jesus use the word adultery? Jesus did not use words loosely or carelessly.
. . . Some have argued that divorce is the same as death. The Bible does not say that. Others have said that once the remarriage has been confessed as adultery and forgiven, the couple can now remain together. That makes adultery only an act and not a continuing sinful relationship. Is marriage only an act and not a continuing right relationship?
It is important to note that Jesus’ words "committeth adultery" are present continuous action verbs in each of the Gospels. This indicates that sin continues so long as the relationship continues. Only once did Jesus use a one-time past-action verb in relation to committing adultery: "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
I know of no one who would say, if a man steals a car and gets converted, the car is now his. Nor that a man under the influence of alcohol who gets converted can remain under such influence as a Christian. Yet a difference is made in the case of a man stealing another man’s wife. Is such handling of Scripture not under God’s judgment?

Jesus and Paul always referred to remarriage while a "former" spouse lived as adultery. Christ paid for all sin on the cross but it is a dangerous thing to think that sin is forgiven if it is not confessed and forsaken.

Produce fruit that is consistent with repentance! - Mat 3:8 (ISV)
I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too. - Luke 13:5 (NLT)
So the disciples went out, telling everyone they met to repent of their sins and turn to God. - Mk 6:12 (NLT)
Therefore, repent and turn to Him to have your sins blotted out. - Acts 3:19 (ISV)
Jesus told the woman in adultery to, "Go and sin no more." John 8:11 (NLT). He did not give her license to continue in her sin.
The "Church" now preaches a highly watered down version of Christ's teaching. "All you have to do is believe in Jesus and you shall have eternal life." Belief will guarantee eternal life, but like the demons who also believe in Jesus it will likely not be in Heaven with the Father.
The Apostle Paul alerted us to be vigilant in regard to deception in both books of Timothy:
Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons. These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are seared. - 1 Timothy 4:1-2 (NLT)
Then...
You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!
They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) These teachers oppose the truth just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses. They have depraved minds and a counterfeit faith. But they won’t get away with this for long. Someday everyone will recognize what fools they are, just as with Jannes and Jambres. - 2 Timothy 3:1-9 (NLT),
He continues in 2 Timothy Chapter Four.
I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up his Kingdom: Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.
For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths. - 2 Tim 4:1-3
In the book of Matthew 7:15 Jesus Himself warns us of the very deception of people like Erasmus.
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” - Mat 7:15 (NLT)
In no other place in the church is this more evident than with divorce and remarriage and the lie that a person can do whatever they wish and are saved. We have to do the right thing even when it is hard. At the end of the day, as since the time of Moses, divorce and remarriage are nothing more than substitution of God’s laws with human reasoning, a reasoning that is false. We are told repeatedly in the scriptures.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. - Prov 14:12 (ESV)
But Peter and the apostles replied, "We must obey God rather than any human authority." - Acts 5:29 (NLT)
Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. - Ephesians 5:6 (KJV)
Jesus Himself told us:
"...[W]hy do you by your traditions violate the direct commandments of God? ...[Y]ou cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites..." - Matthew 15:3-7(NLT)
In Mark Jesus declares:
“You skillfully sidestep God’s law in order to hold on to your own tradition.” - Mark 7:9 (NLT)
All of these verses speak to the superiority of God’s laws over man’s traditions. Jesus Christ Himself said so. Anyone who thinks that a piece of paper can dissolve a marriage must understand that divorce is not of God but of man. It is a man-made thing. From the day John the Baptist came the Gospel of Jesus Christ was preached. What He said was the final word.
The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presses into it. - Luke 16:16 (AKJV)
We are sternly and directly warned by our Lord Jesus Christ in John.
“But all who reject me and my message will be judged on the day of judgment by the truth I have spoken.” - John 12:48 (NLT)
Paul tells us clearly in 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 what a husband and wife are obligated to do under direct command of God.
But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. - 1 Cor 7:10-11 (NLT)
There is no wiggle room here. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is about forgiveness, reconciliation, and redemption. There is no greater example in the Bible of such a thing than the Apostle Paul. As Saul he was a zealous murderer of Christians--and very good at it. He was turned into a man of God on the road to Damascus when Jesus appeared before him. Are we to believe God is unable to do the same thing for an estranged husband and wife? To think so is to deny the power of Christ. God forbid! - Romans 6:2 (KJV)
Indeed, we spend all our time trying to figure out who is the innocent party in a divorce. Who left first? Who was abusive? Who failed to satisfy the other's needs? Who yelled too much? Who cheated on whom? Who cheated first? (Even this doesn't matter a bit as the "innocent party" so often quoted to allow divorce and remarriage--the woman in Mat 19 who was divorced for no fault of her own--commits adultery if she remarries. If the innocent woman is guilty of adultery how much more so is the guilty party?) We seek loopholes, justifications, and excuses to sidestep God’s law for our own ends. We rationalize that God, who "[I]s no respecter of persons", "[S]hows no partiality" (Acts 10:34), and "[W]ho without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work" (1 Peter 1:17), "[K]nows my heart so it is okay." What a dangerous thought.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it? - Jer 17:9 (ASV)
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. - Mat 15:19 (NASB)
Human rationalization is a dangerous thing. Indeed, anything that requires justification is certainly sinful. We are repeatedly cautioned against this kind of thinking.
Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. - Col 2:8 (NLT)
The Ten Commandments are still in effect. Christ made it abundantly clear in Mark, Luke, and Matthew, that remarriage while a partner is alive is sin. Paul the Apostle told it to us very plainly in Romans 1 and 1 Cor 7:39 that marriage is for life--no exceptions.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. - Exodus 20:14 (KJV)
He [Jesus] told them, “Whoever (that means ANYONE and EVERYONE) divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” - Mark 10:11-12 (NLT)
For example, when a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her. So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries. - Romans 7:2-3 (NLT)
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. - 1 COR 7:39 (NLT)

Where do We Go From Here?

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. - Acts 17:11 (NLT)

In conclusion, it is time for the Church to proclaim truth. We would not allow a drunkard or a thief to continue in his lifestyle without confronting him, but we will allow adulterers a free pass. What about homosexuals? Murderers? Paul left us with a very stern warning on the matter and we disregard him at our eternal peril.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (KJV)
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. - Galatians 5:19-21
Pastors who think this is wrong should consider Jesus' take on the matter.
Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. - Mat 5:19 (KJV)
God also weighed in clearly in the Old Testament.
If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me. If righteous people turn away from their righteous behavior and ignore the obstacles I put in their way, they will die. And if you do not warn them, they will die in their sins. None of their righteous acts will be remembered, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. - Eze 3:19-20 (NLT)
But if the watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn't sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. They will die in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.' - Eze 33:6 (NLT)
We have been warned that behavior matters. Grace is not license to continue in sin--it is strength to depart from sin. Pastors, it is time to step up to the plate and tell the truth on marriage.
May God Bless you and give you the Spirit of Utterance that you may proclaim the truth for all to hear. Amen.
To the rest of you I leave you with a warning based upon personal experience, for I have felt God's discipline.
It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God. - Heb 10:31 (NLT)
A vow to God is something He jealously enforces.
When you vow a vow to God, defer not to pay it; for he has no pleasure in fools: pay that which you have vowed. Better is it that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay. Suffer not your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; neither say you before the angel, that it was an error: why should God be angry at your voice, and destroy the work of your hands? - Eccl 5:4-6 (NKJV)
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. - Gal 6:7 (NASB)

To God be the glory.

Links to Marriage Resources
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Godly Advice For Husbands Regarding Their Wives

(A wife regarding her Godly husband.)
"His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend"
- Song 5:16 (NLT)

For Neona, Ira, and Charlie... I love you. I will never leave you.